Since the earliest days of recorded history, mankind has sought to understand the unique sensation of dreaming. From dreams that are incredibly soothing and pleasant, through scream-enhanced nightmares, to dreams we can easily understand, right on to those which make absolutely no sense at all -- we often awake confused as to why certain visions appear only once, while others seem to stalk our sleep on an all-too-frequent basis.
Because dreams are such an integral part of our lives, many psychiatrists, psychologists, sociologists and palm-reading gypsies have offered up “expert” opinions as to the true meanings of our dreams. And, in the process, these experts have been amazed at how frequently people -- with absolutely nothing else in common -- will share the exact same dream experience.
As it turns out, I have also done extensive research into the subject of dreams, and learned so many interesting aspects of the “dream state,” I feel compelled to share them with you.
For example… Are you aware the most common dream people experience on a regular basis?
“My Teeth Are Falling out!"
What!!?? Well, apparently it’s true, and I quote:
“Dreams of falling or crumbling teeth are the most common dreams that DreamMoods.com receives. The typical dream scenarios include having your teeth crumble in your hands, fall out one by one with just a light tap, grow crooked or start to rot. Such dreams are not only horrifying and shocking, but they often leave you with a lasting image throughout the day.”
Now, just hold on a sec here… But are you for real??!! Themost common dream people experience?! Their teeth are falling out??!!
Okay, I know… I may have led a sheltered life… But with Madame Odie as my witness, I have never dreamed that my teeth are crumbling and falling out of my head and into my hand. Never. Not even once. And what does Dream Moods attribute “rotting teeth” to?
Dreaming that your teeth are falling out or rotting may refer to your fears of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some situation. Perhaps you feel unprepared for the task at hand and are afraid of getting ridiculed.These dreams are often an over-exaggeration of your worries and anxieties. In most cases, all your worrying is for nothing. Sometimes what you imagine is far worse than what is the reality.
Really… Okay. Then maybe I do understand… You’re saying that to imagine my teeth are falling out into my hand may actually beworse than my constant worry over hemorrhoids? All right. That makes sense.
Let’s move on to another “Biggie.”
And here’s the basis of this disturbing vision:
So you are going about your normal routine - going to school, waiting for the bus, shopping at the store or just walking down the street - when you suddenly realize that you have forgotten to wear pants or that you are, gasp, buck naked! Dreaming that you are completely or partially naked may be alarming, but is very common. Nudity symbolizes a variety of things depending on your real life situation.
Often times, when you realize that you are naked in your dream, no one else seems to notice. Everyone else in the dream is going about their business without giving a second look at your nakedness. It just reiterates that your concerns or anxieties are your own projections; no one will notice except you. You may be magnifying the situation and making an issue out of nothing.
Is this not exactly what your dream of nudity is like? No one notices! And to be honest, I don’t know if that’s good or bad. True, I don’t want to be pointed at with ridicule and humiliation. But, on the other hand, having people not notice anything at allseems a bit cruel. For both men and women. Nothing?
Fine. Let’s just move on to a dream I have to believe you’ve all had on a fairly regular basis. Truth be told… It’s considered a classic, both in terms of dream frequency and interpretation, particularly by biblical scholars.
“The Deserted Island.”
It begins, innocently enough, with Kate Upton and me on a blissful sailing trip through the Tahitian Islands. She and I are having an incredible time, when all of a sudden, a huge storm rages up and violently washes us ashore on a deserted island.
Well, as fate would have it, during our very first day on the island, my Katie develops a severe allergic reaction to literally every type of fabric we had on board the boat. All of them. So even attempting to wear any form of clothing leaves her in agony. At this point -- as you probably recall -- I’m devastated, and quickly “claim” to be afflicted by the exact same allergy so she doesn’t feel “put upon” or “different in some way.”
For the next week, we dedicate ourselves to becoming better acclimated to our surroundings. We quickly learn the island itself is comprised of wide, sandy beaches and dense rain forests, which we are still reluctant to explore. In truth, we’ve become quite comfortable dining on local oysters and mushrooms for nourishment, especially when paired with rum mixed with coconut juice and bananas, to form a drink I’ve named an,
Starting to sound familiar? I’ll bet.
After a month or so, we feel a growing urge to explore further inland, so on a warm, beautiful Saturday, we pack a few supplies and begin our journey to who knows where. We speculate on what dangers may lie ahead – fierce creatures, deadly animals, man-eating reptiles, time-share salesmen – but, nevertheless, we march boldly forward.
Anyway… Remember this part?
After a few hours of hacking our way through the thick jungle, we come upon what may be the most beautiful garden ever created. Incredible water falls. Flowers so bright you think they’re painted into the landscape. Birds of unimaginable glory, all singing songs written especially for my Katie and me.
So, with all the joy we can summon, my Katie and I join hands and pledge to remain in this paradise forever. We have bountiful food, drink, warmth, shelter and safety. And, if we should need money, my Katie can email her dad and/or uncle for the necessary funds.
Still… Despite all this harmony, I just can’t shake the nagging feeling we’re being watched. That we’re missing some signal, some subtle warning of potential danger. I find myself standing in the middle of our garden, staring at an orange tree, thinking to myself, “My Katie and I can never pick an orange from that particular tree.” Why? Who knows?
Okay… Right here -- and I’m sure you’ve all woken up wondering the exact same thing -- “Why THAT orange tree? Why does that fruit seem so forbidden?” Well, buckle up.
Because, at that exact moment, my Katie walks up and says, “Here. Put this on,” and tosses me something green, which I look down at and ask, “What is this? And what are you wearing?”
“Fig leaves,” she tells me. “Slip it on. It’ll protect your junk.”
“Protect my junk. From what?”
“I’ll tell you later. Just put it on.”
Now, this may be the part where many of you begin to wake up. And, believe me, I envy you for it. Sadly, I am cursed to dream on.
As the days move forward, the garden remains as pristine and perfect as ever, but, the fig leaves are beginning to “chafe” a bit. Then, one day, my Katie tells me, “I’m going for a walk. Be back shortly.”
Two hours later, she strolls back in and says, “You’ll never guess who I saw on my walk.”
“You saw someone? You’re kidding, right? You saw another person on this island?”
Well,” she stammers, “Not exactly someone… Listen, I’ll explain in a minute. In the meantime, since you won’t let us eat the oranges, I brought you this delicious apple. Here. Take a bite.”
And with that, the skies begin to darken, the winds blow heavy and, somewhere in the distance, a snake chuckles. I search desperately for answers, just as a deep, angry voice thunders out from above…
“Are you ever getting out of bed?!”
How about that?